Broken things can become blessed things if you let God do the mending.

I started this blog one year ago this month. I named is Family means believing.... Would  I ever guess  the tests that would come to just that- my family! The picture, thank you to my sister Tenae, is myself, my husband Mark and our boys Noah and Jacob.. still a family! Still believing! The tests that have come to this family over the last couple of years have been more than anyone would ask for, think they could handle...and yet at the end of this day, I am thankful! We still have our little Jacob, doing amazing! We still have each other! We still work hard to keep what we wanted in the beginning: to never have to divorce, to never give up on us or our children, to give our all to love each other the rest of our days, to raise our boys to pray, know, and live for Jesus Christ(ya we actually wanted that from the beginning but didn't know how), and to believe no matter what! 

I keep hearing and seeing "test leads to testimony". Well I may not have my testimony all detailed out BUT I do know that without a doubt I believe it that!  When I just was not yet at my most accepting and ready..the Lord still had patience with me and the next storm came. I am still here because of Him. There is a peace we have come to know from our trials and testimonies.

 Leading up to this day, I have had some hard times accepting and focused on all the hard of it all, instead of the blessing that it has become. Broken things can become blessed things if you let God do the mending is 1,000% right!!! I remember being on my knees, daily, crying and asking why, not trusting in His plan...just trying so hard on my own. I shake my head at myself now! LOL I COULD NOT DO THIS ALL ON MY OWN! IT FINALLY CLICKED! I was at a point I couldn't fix it, couldn't understand it, had nowhere to turn for answers...until I had my prayer angel say to me(love Mary!) when will you stop "trying" and just do it? Just let go??!!!! In that spilt second it just clicked, something happened and I am not sure I know how to explain. Some say it is the feeling of grace. In that spilt moment, with all the praying I had been doing, time on my knees pleading with the Lord, trying on my own, I gave in. I gave my life fully and as best I understood how, to God. In my weakest moments, I was finally able to be submissive to God's plan for me, for my life, for my family.

Another of the most heart melting things for me and shocking, was when I got to see Mark be baptized. I find it sad that I honestly was shocked because I did not know he was not. It was just a thing I took for granted instead of making it a priority in my marriage-big mistake! I have never felt and probably never will feel another feeling like that!!!!  I have always known God had a plan and thought my life was somewhat right, but never committed to it full heartily. It never clicked  and now I know God knew just exactly what he had planned for the two opposites who no one thought would make it!!!!! Perhaps I was doing my part all along..hmmmm.lol

I am not saying my life was just horrible, but I had not fully lived for the only One, for Jesus Christ, for God;  I was living for the now and thinking oh I will be ok... there is no other way and am I ever thankful it finally clicked. Would I say after the fact that man I just want to relive all of that.. hmm good questions but since that is what it took for our family to be where it is now...YES! I see so many people going through storms and just want to do my best to get them to their saving grace. I want them to be able to "get it" too!!!!! 
 Like I heard today though, we can plant the seeds, water, and check on them, but it is all in God's time and his plan for when those seeds grow into fruitful harvest. Does not mean I will stop fishing, but am more patient and understanding now, that was our time...everyone has their time! I am learning tons, wanting to learn more, know I will still be growing as a baby Christian, unsure of God's plan for me but finally have given into that pulling in my heart and so ecstatic to see where God is taking me and definitely my family. I am not perfect by far but can and will try my hardest!! Some may get it, some do not, some think it is stupid, others doubt it... others opinions don't matter. I just have to show them the way and live my life for God. We all fall short but I sure want to grow taller(LOL).

So this is my rambling for this day that could have been the fork in the road last year to ending this family. Family does mean believing in good times, hard times, unsure times, scary times, happy times, all times! WE are members of God's family and He has never stopped believing in us!